MONDAY:
Well, here it is. A fresh week. Oh God, here comes this asshole.
TUESDAY:
Yeah, why not put your foot a little closer to me? Idiot.
WEDNESDAY:
You bitches have that whole big house. Why the hell do you keep coming out here? This is my house, and I don't like you. Dumb bitches.
THURSDAY:
I'm not trying to touch you. Why do you keep trying to touch me? Don't touch me anymore. Your finger makes me sick. Stupid. You stupid, stupid, asshole.
FRIDAY:
TGIF!
SATURDAY:
Fine, don't even ask me why I'm sad. I'll tell you anyway. My friend Lance took a walk around a margarita late last night.
SUNDAY:
Someday I'm gonna get off this stoop. I can go anywhere I want. I can go right off into that grass if I feel like it. You smelly, stupid, retards.
(Previously published on Total Bozo Magazine - 5/23/15)